Come on in, the bar's open.

You know, as an Obama supporter, it was one thing to have Hillary's Voldemortish-like presence hover over my house like a malevolent, Bill-filled blimp, blocking out the very stars at night; and I could deal with her hiring gangs of DLC-friendly teens to pelt my house with wads of crumpled photos of Obama in traditional garb; I could even work around the megaphone-equipped van cruising my neighborhood at 3 a.m. blasting Fleetwood Mac and clips of her explaining the details of her health care plan. But now she's gone too far.

No matter who wins the remaining primaries, there's no way for Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton to capture enough delegates to reach the magic number of 2,025 needed to secure the Democratic nomination. The decision will then fall to the superdelegates, elected officials and party people often demonized in the media as hacks or backroom operators. A majority of them will swing behind one or the other candidate—likely Hillary Clinton—boosting her over the top even if she lags behind Barack Obama in the pledged delegate count.

In what may be one of the most surprising if overlooked findings in recent SUSA post-primary polling, new data sets indicate that traditional voting patterns among canine and feline sectors may be shifting far beyond what conventional models have predicted. But how significant a factor might this prove to be in a tight race that's been defying expected trends from the outset?

More below the flap door.

The primaries were hot like the night that falls swiftly during wartime in the Sangre de Cristo mountains.

Voting was heavy. Then, it was light. Those who could not face it cast absentee ballots.

The candidates were still sweating and leaping for the favor of the beautiful superdelegates. Their supporters were sweating too and making pie sounds among the fiery blogs that lurked patiently in tall grass for the old newspapers. He walked among them lamenting his lost youth.

Then there was a cantina, and it smelled like honesty.

That was the title of a fine novel by the esteemed Australian novelist Alan Sillitoe

And if there were a proper metaphor for the travail of the progressive in this society I would reckon this is it. Support or fail me beneath this thread, fellow walkers.

On-site sensors have indicated the emergence of an eventuality some of us have feared for years: Daily Kos has slipped into a state of quantum entanglement that has blurred the Front Page with the Diary List.

More below the space-time fold.

Now, I'm as much a lover of bloody internecine conflict as the next blogger/activist/sockpuppet. I read Civil War Weekly like paper was water and my eyes were on fire; try to highlight differences rather than commonalities between members of the same communities; and only rarely resort to polite, reasoned comments when inflammatory name-calling will do.

But, there's a limit. Even for me. More below the trench.

Busy, they're always busy...

WaPo--The FBI is embarking on a $1 billion effort to build the world's largest computer database of peoples' physical characteristics, a project that would give the government unprecedented abilities to identify individuals in the United States and abroad.

Yeah, that's right: you heard me. There I was, browsing the blogs, cruising Kos, having a cruller--minding my own business, ya know? And then so many Cindy Sheehan diaries pop up that my computer crashes just trying to load them all.

Like, so what? you're thinking. I know--big whoop, right?

But this is the thing though-- I was downloading all of Slim Whitman's albums onto my hard drive when the system dropped, and now I've lost them all. So much for seven hours of work. Poop.

The Ronald Reagan Library announced that Sam Brownback, Jim Gilmore, Rudy Giuliani, Mike Huckabee, Duncan Hunter, John McCain, Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, Tom Tancredo and Tommy Thompson are all confirmed to attend the Library’s debate on May 3rd.  The debate will take place at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, California, and will air live on MSNBC from 8:00 to 9:30 pm (ET) and stream live on MSNBC.com and politico.com and will include audience questions gathered on politico.com.

(With apologies to Hemingway.)

It was late and every one had left the floor of the Senate except an old man who sat in the shadow the Speaker's podium made against the paneled walls. In the day time the chamber was busy; but at night only the pages were there and the old man liked to sit late because he was deaf and now at night it was quiet and he felt the difference. The two pages inside the chambers knew that the old man was a little confused, and while he was a senior Senator they knew that if he became too confused he would stand and speak for hours to an empty room, so they kept watch on him.

Via Talking Points Memo...

So it looks as if CNN -- or James Carville, or both -- listened to the loud and grating noises some of us were making about CNN's previous failure to identify Carville as a Hillary supporter (rather than an independent analyst) when he goes on the network and discusses the Presidential race or criticizes her chief rival, Barack Obama.

On The Situation Room last night, CNN finally did identify Carville as a Hillary backer -- and not a moment too soon, because Carville was on the air to discuss Hillary and Barack's fundraising numbers.

I have noted a recent spate of posts expressing un-Christian-like flaggelation of supporters of various `08 Dem hopefuls.

My advice to these inveterate Kos-ruiners--and you know who you are--: Cease and desist. It needs to get better--much better--before it can get worse again.

A mythology seems to have grown about the "netroots" having to eviscerate, lash, rack-stretch, or otherwise wedgie any given Dem candidate supporter. A few posters--and they know who they are--appear to be stoking the endless fires of MetaSatan lately, and seem to think that doing so will get them some kind of brownie points with the digital Prince of Darkness.

The idea that mauling, cursing, stoning, knifing, or even credit-checking each other in the name of our own self-righteousness has got to stop, or MetaJesus will cast us all into a fiery pit filled with the stench of burning bloggers. And we'll ruin Kos and the Democratic Party for all eternity. Even more than its ruined already.

Enough of the Inquisition.

Welcome to Dear Mr. Know-It-All, your resource for information on topics of vital interest or stultifying irrelevance, depending on the day. I'll make every effort to find an answer to your variegated questions, or failing that, to make one up as best I can. Questions should be polite, typed, double-spaced and bear at least a remote relationship to the general purview of the site, except for when they don't.

Our first question comes from one Mary Kay McMalley, of Hell's Ditch, New Jersey:

Dear Mr. Know-It-All:

During my sophomore year at the University of Schenectady, I've been studying environmental science, global warming, and Western governmental responses to climate change. But it's really boring. So my question has nothing to do with those subjects.

I was just wondering why you never see any white Magic Markers. Could you do some research and get back to me? Thank you in advance for all your hard work!

Mary Kay

It's not about the purges.

It's not about the lies.

It's not about the Democrats

and their whining cries.

It's all about the children,

precious children. No surprise.

Under fire in the Justice Department's botched dismissals of eight U.S. attorneys, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is trying to leave the furor behind him - literally.

The embattled attorney general is reaching beyond Washington over the next week to try to soothe his remaining prosecutors and show the public he's still working hard to curb crime. He'll also talk with local media in dozens of cities Friday about keeping kids safe from sexual predators.

In a skull-cracking vision of hell so horrific it would drive Breughel to projectile vomit Yugos for eternity, YouTube has unleashed a nightmarish plague of horror upon the populace. The pestilent, malevolent form this anti-Christical demon has taken?

Home-made political videos.

More below the threshold of Hades.

"There must be some way out of here..."

Four prominent conservative thinkers are set to launch a campaign "to restore checks and balances and civil liberties protections under assault by the Executive Branch," arguing that, "since 9/11, the President has acquired too much power."